Mission Impossible: Fresh in a Relationship

I have been in love

Loved him so much I forgot I was a poet.

I loved him so much that I didn't like me. Who I was would never make him happy. I was too political, too goofy, too poetic, too nerdy...too much of me. But i was very frustrated I couldn't be me and love him. So I loved and despised him for it. Wanted him to sacrifice himself for me. And you know that doesn't work out for the best. I became a pest he became jerk we became broken. Relationships don't work. ON TO DA NEXT ONE...

But I still have mad love and respect for who he is and gaining love and respect for who I am back. I have learned that if you can't be who you are and still be in a healthy relationship, maybe you should change your relationship type or end the relationship all together. Our relationship was probably best as friends. Now we're barely acquaintances.

But I then I start new and different relationships. I got a thing now. He ask me to open up and I shut down. I don't want another broken heart and I know if i open up in certain ways I'll fall hard. But the reason I started with this new guy was cuz he is sexy and I was lonely. Basically. Now its been almost six months, we barely know each other but we do things like we do. But i know he'll never hold me the right way and I want to be loved. Like I loved and was loved before

But thats not happenin anytime soon

At least not in this city...I move out and move on

Till then I might as well set this beast free
But i'm afraid what that will mean
Because

Its addiction
Its ice cream and ameretto
June,no movement, and just jazz
And loving feeling loved
But quick fixes like that
Don't mix with self worth
I hope to find a balance
Before addiction gets me hurt